Being Authentic.

Dear Readers,

My awareness today was about Beauty. Im not sure what brought me into this topic. But anyway.. I was just keep on thinking about this matter since this morning. "Beauty" I often feel envy with every beautiful women. Since I was a kid, well ever since I step into secondary school. From then on, i know how to wear makeup..and every lil bit was taught by my environment. I did this because I want to look beautiful. Until one day that I have a prom night conducted by 6th form college. I was excitedly happy and joyous for the first time i was make up from a saloon. At that time, I doesn't know which saloon is the best.. well, the saloon that i went to was a cheap-cheap one. And the make up was err.. undescribable. aka terrible.. xp But anyhoos when i grew up, again i tend to go to much professional m.u.a. (Make up artist) at Essentual the mall. It is really my fav saloon. Went there twice, Jenny the M.U.A was really an expertise! It was really an astounding make up he did on me. It was when firstly done for my photoshoot at photo studio. Secondly was when I have an annual Toastmaster Dinner where I be an emcee of the night.

Well, beauty can be define in so many ways. There are some who are naturally beautiful without makeup. But some need makeup to be beautiful. Allah have created it fairly. They are beautiful so they dont need makeup. But not all girls have the beauty like any other gurls have, which make 'em need makeup to cheer their faces. So from my point of view, as a girl, I wanted everyone to know that as a women, a girl and a lady, we have to take care of our own beauty no matter what. As I grew older, as a secretary to the deputy chief executive, and literally as a lady I tend to think and realised that image is very important. And that's why it make me do so. Even working at Rasamas Restaurant my part time work, I am as a waitress and a cashier must take into account of my image. As I met customers. I have to maintain the image as a customer service.

This is therefore important for me to maintain my image. As i have mentioned earlier, some have their own natural beauty, like my colleague and my other girlfriends, not like me..I have to wear it every time because if not, my face will definitely be pale. Yeah, something that make me write this will probbably because of my Chinese colleague ivy, she always said to me that "why you have to wear makeup? You have your own beauty. So no need to wear... Later if your bf see you wear makeup, they will see you as a patung, not natural" and i replied her that I cant if w/o makeup i will be pale. Sometime i feel miserable. To wear or not to wear. And thats why I envy my girlfriend who have natural beauty.. I am so envy with them..

But to strengthen my perceptions. I will always try to be myself. Do you know that If we are married and have husband, we also need to take care of our image even at home. See how, important it is. I have heard and read so many complaint in a magazine that they feel bored with their wife because their wife do not maintain their image. See? Well what i meant is not only about make up but about their image at home. Not necessarily at home we dont have to be beautiful, but we Must!

Then again, it was about my friend who comment my other friend beautiful. Somehow I feel envy not jealous ok? envy.. :s But anyway, I used to think that she can be beautiful so do i and I even take so many steps to be like them. I used to be not authentic to myself. But this morning, I realised that I also do have my own. Why would I envy them much. Its ok, if nobody want to give me a compliment or even need to look at me for one or twice glance. I do not need that. I just need to be myself...be my authentic real self. I dont have the beauty like 'em. But I am an independent women. Not like the rest. I was given the power of independent by Allah to be a different women and a unique person. I believe in that. Some may have the physical beauty but there are also weaknesses. Well, Im seeking for the inner beauty instead.. Its ok I dont have the physical beauty like many others have. Allah is fair enough to give me good things. I dont need to be like them..

I am ME. I love myself... =)