Life is a high way.

"Life is a highway. We all start the same, and end up the same. It’s the journey that’s different."

Assalamualaikum.. Referring to the quoted text above. I ever think about what metaphors does it have in this quotes?

Life is a highway means you can choose which way you want to go. You have the wisdom to know right from wrong. Basically, you have the wisdom to choose. And afterall, I was given this path of life..and I choose to go with it.

Every people in this world are born the same, we are all equal. But as we grew up, being brought up by different family background.. To be think of, we are more fortunate than other people, to be specific the less fortunate people who do not have house to live in, food to eat etc.

My dad was a local famous writer named Adi Marhaen (it is name after my eldest brother). He was famous amongst the local writer. Everywhere you go, if you met a local literates, just ask them..do you know him? They'll sure does know. He is a Master in Malay Literature who wrote poems, short story, any other forms of literature in Brunei.

And direct to my point, we are well family (when dad is still alive). Its just that after he passed away, everything turns upside down. Because of wealth, my family break-up. My sisters and brother make their own way with my father's wealth. sigh. I hate this part where me and my lil brother lives in hardship (this was when I was still in high school) But now I am fortunate that I am now working. And life changes bit by bit with my current condition. If I were to tell you, when I was in Form 4, everyday.. day and night we only eat fried rice.. Because Mum was only selling food to mini mart and her revenue is very small. It brought me into tears if i remember this. I even went home by the public bus from Dewan Bahasa, just for the sake of studying everyday after school. Remembering the day, I feel pity to myself but Im proud of myself at the same time, that I have gone through this hardship as it slowly changing as i grew up.

Now, life is getting stable...and Alhamdulillah, with all my effort..I can help my mother and brother at the same time helping myself to improve my life more. I can now buy my own car with my own money, I can give mother to pay her expenses and my brother for his studies. I even can bring mom meet her family back in Jakarta after 10 years of not meeting them. Alhamdulillah..syukur kehadrat illahi...the barakkah of my rezki goes to all my surroundings. I can even give my rezki to my families in Jakarta and in KK. Not to be forgotten in Brunei, my friends and my colleagues.

All of these is from Allah swt. The hardship back then pays me off now. This is my motivation, I was born in a well family when I was still a kid, and as I grew up Life changes after my dad passed away but then it changes again after Im working. And Im glad, after I was being promoted by my company... I am able to give more rezki to my family. Talking of my company, today there's a news on the borneo bulletin about my lady boss. CONGRATS to her that she was nominated as "Bruneian ranked top 50 female leaders in Asia Pacific region." (CLICK ON THE LINK TO READ MORE) - Source Borneo Bulletin. I am so proud to be part of my esteemed company and specifically to be a secretary to my deputy chief executive. SHe's not only a good leader but also my inspiration. And a dreams every women wants to achieved. Success in career and success in life generally. This is what what we called Happiness.

Today, I have class,..ohh its been awhile that I dont updates on my college. We have pre-mid term test. And i feel it was amazing that I can answer all the questions fluently.. Alhamdulillah.. Well honestly, I did not study and do revision. But maybe because I attended every extra classes given by my lecturer and I did well with my homeworks that I can answer it fluently. Alhamdulillah Ya Allah... :) Fyi as well, I deactivate my facebook until....further notice. haha :p Its just that I dont want to be disturb by those unwanted status that can distract my mind from thinking back to the past, because i have to carry on moving..and I aimed high for my course this term. I dont want to be distracted. AND I DONT WANT TO BE DISTRACTED!!

Yupp!! That's it.. My exam fees is not that cheap that I am not taking it seriously. I have to work smart now.. Facebook wont bring me anywhere. But My study yess! My life, I have to rule myself not by other means.

Not only that..my motivation to save is also another thing. Next year insyallah, With Allah's will I'll be flying off to KL with my 9 classmates for a group vacation.. uuu yeah!!! We book our flight and we pay it already.. MAy everything will goes smoothly... Amiieenn InsyAllah...

This is it... this is what Im choosing! Choosing to be a secretary to my DCE, to be an International Diploma of Biz Admin student and a Waitress in Rasamas Restaurant. Please do not ask whether its tired or not. You know it cus you have the answer.

As i mentioned, this is my chosen path. Its my dream and its my inspiration... Life is a highway, remember?

Now,,,Now,,, Nadiah... You have to study smart and work hard. Play hard, Save smart.. haha :D Cheeritos Nandos... Loving ya.. See you around! :)

sad mode 'on'.

Life is hard. Today was terribly a bad day. As if the world turns upside down. I Was so down. And losing the hope. Today, Im fasting for Hari Asyura. But there was so many thing that slap me on my face.

Can I just pretend to be happy?

Dilema Cinta Dua Hati.

Salam Cinta... Salam Wahai Dunia... Salam Buat Semua...

Today, a calm bright sunny day. It was a coincidence last night that I saw a Afgan's new song of "CInta Dua Hati" OST Dilema Cinta Dua Hati. Sinopsis ceritanya...

Berawal dari kisah Jane (Olivia lubis Jensen) yang sedang berjuang melawan kanker pankreas tetapi tetap memiliki obsesi besar agar bisa mencintai dan dicintai oleh penyanyi idolanya, Alfa (Afgansyahreza). Lewat campur tangan kakeknya, Bhakti Hassan (Deddy Mizwar), yang seorang konglomerat, Jane akhirnya bisa masuk dalam kehidupan Alfa. Hanya saja Alfa telah memiliki kekasih yang bernama Laras (Tika Putri).

Trailer "Dilema Cinta Dua Hati"

Entah dari sudut apa yang membuatku amat tersentuh oleh lagu dan cerita nya... Personally saying, this story tells alot of my personal Love story. Im so touched by it where Alfa (Afgan) was firstly in love with Laras (Tika Putri) and suddenly came Jane (Olivia) in their Life.

On one side, I believe that I am at Laras position where she let Alfa love Jane because she saw a love on jane's eyes for Alfa. And coincidentally Jane is sick suffer from cancer. Which makes Laras try to be "Ikhlas" Although from the beginning she knows the risk of loving Alfa.

But the other side, I am also in Jane's side where Jane was the second love of Alfa. And I knew that Alfa is also loving Jane in return. THat is the part where I am touched by it. Looking at Alfa who loves both of them so much makes me like crying so much.

For Prince Adrian. If you ever saw My writtings today...Please do take care of her very much... I dont deserve this happiness, She deserve more than I do.

VIDEO CLIP "CINTA DUA HATI" - AFGAN

Hayati cerita nie... :'\ :'| :')

Aku Ikhlas meski ku memohon dan meminta hatimu,

monotonous. peanut butter. cheezy milk. soya sauce!

Lol. Im lacking of title actually. arghh...so bored and lonely. i am now. Shouldn't my life is full of butterfly? Anyway, I decided to write something tonite, becos i feel i wanna write.

Today, hmm... i really have no mood to do things. indescribable feeling i have. But lucky thing that I made my boss happy. she even text me that she's happy and give me a small reward. I was wondering...what did i do? I was only meeting her expectation that's all. What she want, I try my best to do n complete it. No complain. Well, maybe thats the reward for patient. sigh. I was again reflecting my life back. Don't you think my life is the other way round? Aren't me supposed to be happy to myself? Instead, I make people happy? I know rite there's a saying, you make people happy first than you get yours. You give others first than you'll received more. Was like....ouww well... lets must be patient again.

Kita buat orang bahagia, tapi diri kita merana? Today, really... my mood turns down.. I feel everything changes. Why life always treat me unfairly~ I want to cry but i can't. i want to run but I can't. I want to kill myself but ofc ourse definitely im still sane ok. hmm...

Few days back we had our RBTS summer camp. It was a success for the committee and of course RBTS. I guess people are having fun among themselves.. The married bring their family and spouses, The engaged bring their fiancee, The couples bring their own partner. And for me who are single, I bring myself. Mum n Abi don't wana join in. And again I'm alone.

Tho it was a success, at one point, some of Rbts-ians were having food poisoning,including myself. The day when there's a public holiday which is on tuesday. I had a teribble stomach ache. But I am yet to go to the toilet. But when wednesday came, it turns out to be diarrhea. Today, it was recovering. Some of my colleagues are taking MC. "Lucky them". huhu. Wow for me it was like a disaster for rbts when the people get sick almost everyone. haha Cali plg rasaku smua urg beria2.. haha :D anyway...i cant blame the committee. maybe the catterer didnt make the food properly. Only ALLAH's know.

Last sunday evening, I've watch movie with Ali and afy plus his brothers. On my way there, I was thinking isnt it good we watch movie with our love ones. aiya~ I know I shouldn't think about it tho. but it was suddenly there. The feeling. Coincidently lagi my ticket labih dua. haiyaa~ susah lor ini macam..

Anyways... Exam was almost over. Last paper gona be this saturday. ANd Im still stuck with my fb and blog! huuu~~ what happened to nadia???? I did my best. Quite dissapointed when my boss asked me how's my exam. Cus I answered it was quite hard. And she said.. "nda kan smua payah?" well, only Allah knows. Sabar nad... I feel tercabar jua lah dgn ckpnya atuh..hmm.

Umph. last monday i went to Khai's house at Telanai. Her daddy's birthday. Happy Birthday Uncle Malik!!

Uncle Malik in the Middle with grey shirt with yayah's UBD mates, a cousin n guitars.

Talking about my best friends now, I have just realised one thing. Tho Imma quite person (I know Im not with certain) haha :D okay.. i mean my point is.. Now that I realised that Im close with their families as well.. Let see..Munirah, I think Im closed with the entire family. Well, we always be together before..thats the reason. Khairiah. also the entire fams, as well as tiqah, dyah, ezan n rosdiah. Syami not really that close... maybe the connection with them get me more closer with them. well, knowing them is my pleasure. Kalau dikata I am a guy mengkali, boleh jadi menantu kali eh. Some of them we know them well, including dad and momnya. ohh well, so lucky they are gurls haha :D

Talking nonsense lagi c adriana puteri ani. Nada orang sudi dgr cerita, i cerita with blog saja lah... hee

Life, i will get you busy so that you will not feel lonely and boring after this examination is over. i promise... hmm so sad!!!!! i feel downn....

Love,

Today is so different...

Assalamualaikum...

Ya Allah kenapa hari ini hariku sungguh suram... Kembalikan lah kebahagiaan itu padaku... Im sorry, Im sorry, and Im sorry.... What a big mistake did I made? Is it so big that I get all this? Please help me, my heart cried out loud... please... :'( :'( :'( its only adding her up can make this huge sorrow in my heart... It's ok. Apa ada pada diriku...? aku manusia kerdil sekerdil semut... namun begitu aku juga punya hati dan perasaan... besarkah salahku? Kalau ini jalan yang diberi, aku pasrah...tapi berikanlah keadilanmu duhai kasih... :'(

Ya Allah...

Alhamdulillah...

Salam... Hari nie Alhamdulillah, Ada kegembiraan terukir diwajahku. Senyuman yang ku berikan memberikan keceriaan kepada orang lain namun bagiku ianya suatu sukar digambarkan. Today our ibadah korban went so well. And I received a lots of daging korban. Nda rugi jadi committee ibadah korban tahun nie. Alhamdulillah.. Wlaupun di satu sisi ada saja yang nda kena tapi di sisi lain ada saja yang membuatku ceria.

Perkara yang membuatku ceria hari ini adalah kegembiraan bunda ku yang mana one of my collegue yang pernah beraya kerumah pernah memberitahu my mum bahawa anak kita tu baik ulahnya...etc etc... WHich is a good remarks for her, I believe. In a sense, I make my mum happy and proud again. Kadang2 ada gunanya bersabar daripada menjadi seorang yang rakus. It brings good name to our parents.

Another thing is my boss was sooo happy to received my present. She had spent a lot for me. I just dont know how to repay it. She once said to me that she is willing to pay my school fees for as long as im still schooling. That is so kind of her. I said to her that I am able to pay in my own expense...I dont want to bother hers. When I lost my hp, she also kindly give me cheque to repay the lost, eventho it was my fault to lose it and not taking care of it well. I owe her so much. She even lend me her management books, give me time to teach me accounting etc. Today by just by giving her the things that she likes has made her day!~ Alhamdulillah... Im so glad she like it... :')

Yesterday, I went to Gadong and kiulap to look for my boss's present. I went with Hamizah, My close buddy soul. hehe :D We went shopping and at the same time listen to each other's story. By just sharing stories and motivate each others problems...she was so happy! ANd indeed she is very happy now... so lucky her to have a normal happy life now... Sometime I envy her much~ unlike myself, I make others happy but who knows my heart was shattered. Thinking of it, Idk how should I dealt with it. I just wish he understand my heart. I just want to talk..nothing much..but its not at a right time I guess. So, I have to be patient again... nadiah oh nadiah...apakah kesudahan kisah cintamu wahai puteri? :|

With love,

It's about L.O.V.E...

Life… life… and life… I always question to myself. Why life treats me unfairly? Why and why? This is about love. To whom it may concern, why love always treats me unfairly? Why? And why? I give my all. I sacrifice my time, I sacrifice my heart, I sacrifice my money and I sacrifice all my happiness for the one I love. But still, love never appreciates what I have done. Sometime I feel not valuable and incomplete. I often envy with couple that are having a happy time together. I envy so much… And just wondering when will I have this value of completeness… It’s not fair for me. What did I do wrong? I try to be the best in myself but what I have in return…? Hopeless and disappointment. But why? If you can see.. Why would I be waiting for someone that I love? And why from the beginning you are hoping for me to wait for you. I did all this because of love. But when the times come, and I am so glad that I am able to wait. And you said “pergilah…” I know recently I break your heart with my own weakness. But Im sorry, I am not a perfect human being. But I do willing to learn from my own flaws. To improve my weakness. I am just so sensitive with the words “pergilah…”

All I can say…Apology for the weaknesses I have. But please look at a fair side? From the beginning you like me. And I like you. We own each other’s heart and Im sory that I fall in love with you without knowing your status. Im sory for the trouble I have made… And until now… my feeling for you never fade. Please make me understand and give me clarity of our relationship. All I need is honesty, trust and love. Cos I don’t want to be in transparent.

May Allah open our heart for the good thing. Amin InsyAllah~

Langit tak selalunya cerah...

Begitulah lumrah hidup... Kadang kita di atas dan kadang pula kita berada dibawah... Tiga tahun yang lalu, hidupku sama seperti ini... ditinggal pergi begitu saja, tahun seterusnya seperti itu juga. Setelah itu, jika difikirkan tentang keadaan yang pernah menimpa diri ini. Tiada cinta dan harapan yang bisa membuatkan ku jatuh lagi...namun begitu, tidak disangka cinta itu hadir sekali lagi. Hadir untuk merobek hati ku sekali lagi. Mengikut kata hatiku yg kejam...memang semua lelaki sama. Suka mempermainkan perasaan wanita. Sudah menjadi lumrah alam, begitu kejadiaannya. Namun jauh disudut hati dan perasaanku aku mengasihani mereka ini. Adakah kerana kasihan itu membuat hidup ku sendiri tak tentu arah?

Ceritera ku ini adalah umpama novel kisah cinta yang sukar dimengerti. Boleh dikata seperti mengapai bintang dilangit. Kita menyintainya dan mengaharapnya sepenuh hati, kita sangat tertarik dengan keindahanya, namun begitu, sayangnya kita hanya tergapai-gapai ingin memeggang bintang itu. Kita mengharapnya berada disisi namun itu semua hanya mimpi indah yang tak bisa menjadi kenyataan...

Hati pernah berkata aku tak mau bercinta lagi...aku mau teruskan perjuanganku. Kejayaan sepenuhnya belum ku kecapi. Aku berharap suatu hari nanti pasti ada lagi yang terbaik...

like a star...

I was listening to "like a star from Corinne Baily Rae" it was a soothing song. I want to break through... my feeling craves for calmness.... How i wish....

One week ago, i lost my mobile phone. At that time... i felt so sad. Terribly unhappy! You know how difficult i am in earning money? And it's gone simply like that? Don't you feel depressed? I just couldn't describe how i felt.. Just to share you a lil story.. Some people may react normal when their phone was lost. But for me, it's not... my mum told me "you lost your mobile phone as if you're losing your boyfirend?" I was surpirsed! How i am not aware of that feeling. Why my feeling is so complicated was i get it with my own money, with my own effort. And suddenly that innocent people took it like what? As if Im buying a sweet, you just took it and eat it as simple as that. Allah will judge you on the day after! I'll just wait and see your judgement! Tulah kau tulah..nda berkat idup mu...

As Ivy told me, You lose something but you gain awarenss... this was my awareness at that particular time... "sometime life have to let go of something that we love. I lost it doesnt mean I loss everything. I pray for good things tomorrow and & days ahead.. wish all the best in life"

Lol, it was all unexpected. Few days later a miracle was meant to be with me. I received a cheque of $200 by someone. And Ive managed to make my mum happy at the same time. Ive got good grades for my assignment project. And mum teribbly happy for me. Wow, that's what i called contentment. hmm, what a relief...she said to me with her happy faces... " Although i felt tired, but when i listen to your achievement...all of my weariness dissappear." Alhamdulillah ya ALLAH... i belive in myself, though im facing the hardship now, future will pay me the happiness...