Today is so different...

Assalamualaikum...

Ya Allah kenapa hari ini hariku sungguh suram... Kembalikan lah kebahagiaan itu padaku... Im sorry, Im sorry, and Im sorry.... What a big mistake did I made? Is it so big that I get all this? Please help me, my heart cried out loud... please... :'( :'( :'( its only adding her up can make this huge sorrow in my heart... It's ok. Apa ada pada diriku...? aku manusia kerdil sekerdil semut... namun begitu aku juga punya hati dan perasaan... besarkah salahku? Kalau ini jalan yang diberi, aku pasrah...tapi berikanlah keadilanmu duhai kasih... :'(

Ya Allah...

Alhamdulillah...

Salam... Hari nie Alhamdulillah, Ada kegembiraan terukir diwajahku. Senyuman yang ku berikan memberikan keceriaan kepada orang lain namun bagiku ianya suatu sukar digambarkan. Today our ibadah korban went so well. And I received a lots of daging korban. Nda rugi jadi committee ibadah korban tahun nie. Alhamdulillah.. Wlaupun di satu sisi ada saja yang nda kena tapi di sisi lain ada saja yang membuatku ceria.

Perkara yang membuatku ceria hari ini adalah kegembiraan bunda ku yang mana one of my collegue yang pernah beraya kerumah pernah memberitahu my mum bahawa anak kita tu baik ulahnya...etc etc... WHich is a good remarks for her, I believe. In a sense, I make my mum happy and proud again. Kadang2 ada gunanya bersabar daripada menjadi seorang yang rakus. It brings good name to our parents.

Another thing is my boss was sooo happy to received my present. She had spent a lot for me. I just dont know how to repay it. She once said to me that she is willing to pay my school fees for as long as im still schooling. That is so kind of her. I said to her that I am able to pay in my own expense...I dont want to bother hers. When I lost my hp, she also kindly give me cheque to repay the lost, eventho it was my fault to lose it and not taking care of it well. I owe her so much. She even lend me her management books, give me time to teach me accounting etc. Today by just by giving her the things that she likes has made her day!~ Alhamdulillah... Im so glad she like it... :')

Yesterday, I went to Gadong and kiulap to look for my boss's present. I went with Hamizah, My close buddy soul. hehe :D We went shopping and at the same time listen to each other's story. By just sharing stories and motivate each others problems...she was so happy! ANd indeed she is very happy now... so lucky her to have a normal happy life now... Sometime I envy her much~ unlike myself, I make others happy but who knows my heart was shattered. Thinking of it, Idk how should I dealt with it. I just wish he understand my heart. I just want to talk..nothing much..but its not at a right time I guess. So, I have to be patient again... nadiah oh nadiah...apakah kesudahan kisah cintamu wahai puteri? :|

With love,

Pengorbanan...

Assalamualaikum...

Selamat menyambut Hari Raya Aidiladha buat semua umat Islam diseluruh dunia... Hari Raya in Brunei falls on wednesday. and Im glad its on wednesday. As it is separated by two working days andafter another two working days it will be off days! hehe ^^

Just to share what happened at 2.40am last nite. I was really upset when I woke up I suddenly miss someone. And I dont know how to describe the feelings. It was so terrible that the tear falls. I really miss the moment together. I missed you fetch me at RM at the late nite, I missed to hangout with you at Bandar, I missed you call me until the dawn, chatting everyday after sahur, I missed us together beraya late nite at Kg. ayer after the rain stops, I missed to be with you in every second of my life. :'| All......it flashes back when I woke up in the middle of the nite. Within a short period of time Im so close with you... and more tears fall apart when reflecting back what happened in the past.

But all I can say...

Ya Allah, I miss him so much... Im sory for loving him...

and after a moment I suddenly i fall back to sleep with the tears accompanied...

Do you know how harsh love is? They give us happiness but at the same time they give us tears... But though the nature of love seems to be like that, people keep on looking for love as love cannot be separated between two human beings. Love always there no matter what.

All I can do now is berkorban... berkorban hati dan perasaan. I just want to show to the one I love that I am not an ego person. I sacrifice my all...time, heart, money, happiness for love. Though, it be worth it or not. At least I try... You have once asked me before, if you are willing to wait for me. And at that time I didn't answer quite well. Im still in doubtful. But now, I think you knew what my answer is...I'm ready for it. But somehow, I feel that you have change a bit, or probably you don't remember your saying before...

hmm anyway, Lets pray that we can settle this problem out the soonest the better, but not too rush. I will keep on praying and praying for good things!. InsyAllah... there will be a good return for me, just don't expect too much. I will just go with the flow... :')

Lotsa LOVE,

It's about L.O.V.E...

Life… life… and life… I always question to myself. Why life treats me unfairly? Why and why? This is about love. To whom it may concern, why love always treats me unfairly? Why? And why? I give my all. I sacrifice my time, I sacrifice my heart, I sacrifice my money and I sacrifice all my happiness for the one I love. But still, love never appreciates what I have done. Sometime I feel not valuable and incomplete. I often envy with couple that are having a happy time together. I envy so much… And just wondering when will I have this value of completeness… It’s not fair for me. What did I do wrong? I try to be the best in myself but what I have in return…? Hopeless and disappointment. But why? If you can see.. Why would I be waiting for someone that I love? And why from the beginning you are hoping for me to wait for you. I did all this because of love. But when the times come, and I am so glad that I am able to wait. And you said “pergilah…” I know recently I break your heart with my own weakness. But Im sorry, I am not a perfect human being. But I do willing to learn from my own flaws. To improve my weakness. I am just so sensitive with the words “pergilah…”

All I can say…Apology for the weaknesses I have. But please look at a fair side? From the beginning you like me. And I like you. We own each other’s heart and Im sory that I fall in love with you without knowing your status. Im sory for the trouble I have made… And until now… my feeling for you never fade. Please make me understand and give me clarity of our relationship. All I need is honesty, trust and love. Cos I don’t want to be in transparent.

May Allah open our heart for the good thing. Amin InsyAllah~

Master of the ceremony...

Assalamualaikum wahai dunia yang kucintai~

Before proceeding with doing my assignment amendment, I feel like writing today cos I have been keeping everything inside. I just need a few minutes to journal down what happened to my heart and my life recently.

Before you read, I am writing my life story achievement doesn’t mean I am too proud of myself or even arrogant. I write because I just want to share a lil bit and pieces of my happiness that I have gained from these few days. Last Friday, I have been selected as emcee again for the building handover ceremony from the contractor to my company. At first it was hard for me to be an emcee again. But Shahruz couldn’t make it because of the auditor requirements makes his boss not letting him go. So, in the end, I turn to be the emcee “again”. And it is “again” in English. I have done emcee-ing in English before in the past in a big events and even doing a speech several times infront of the public. And yet the nervous is still there, everytime and everywhere. But I take it positively.

Left: Gmbar lama masa emcee-ing d Sheraton

The night before the event, I drafted my script with troublesome. Will my script be accepted? I keep on thinking. Cos my English is only a very simple English. But somehow, I gain confident when remembering that I be an emcee for a big event infront of hundreds of people, and of course infront of my mum. That was the very big achievement of mine that I hardly forget. :’) I still remember the moment where my GP teacher in MD hugs me so tightly that I barely breath. Why? Cus she was so proud of me that Nadia have change a lot since MD. I used to be a very quite and very shy girl before. But I am good at doing paperwork though. Any presentations or paperwork, just come to me. People will satisfied with it. But for presenting, I give it away to others. Hehe :p My teacher cried and hugs me tightly that I’m astonished my her action. SO unbelievable… This is all because of toastmaster. Without it, I definitely will still be a quite and shy girl. :’) oh my, remembering my school days makes me want to cry… I have so many sad story during my high school till MD.

From the time where I walked from school to Dewan bahasa, with the sun shining so brightly and it was so hot! and went home by purple bus everyday. Until MD moment where mum was hospitalized for a month due to internal bleeding on her womb or people often call it hemorrhage. At that time, I was in lower six…where I have to go back home, cook some food and keep my brother safe at home and go back to hospital to visit and taking care of my mother. Everyday I was like go back and forth to hospital and home and to school. So lucky that I was able to drive cos I just have my licence at that time back in 2006. Wow…a sad story mine that I couldn’t forget til now… So this is the dream… Everyone have their intention to be success! And one of my dreams was to be good in my communication skills. All the thing that happened since last year bring me tears and joys at the same time.

What makes me tell you this story was, when my colleagues give me a “thumbs up” for my attempt in making the event a success. And some of them said “Macam di airport ko becakap ah” lol it makes me laugh with tears. Hehe :D My boss smile from the far and hugs me when she come infront of me. “Good Job Nadia!” The feeling of joy comes more and more… Thanks to all.

I share this glimpse of happiness on purpose, to motivate myself even more and to make people aware that they should appreciate their life even it was a simple matter that you have done or made so that you will appreciate the people around you especially to your own self. The greatest thing in life is to be thankful to yourself and gratitude on every moment that you have. As that moment may only comes once in a lifetime. So appreciate it.

WIth Love,

Sometimes Life Hurt Just To Make Us Smile...

"I am just a girl, standing infront of a boy,

Asking him to love her forever..."

Notting Hill

"...Well that's what love is like. everything inside of you tells you to stop before you fall, but you just keep going..."

Practical Magic

Im sorry if it's me... :')

Love,

Words of Wisdom...

If he misses you, he’ll call just to hear your voice. If he wants you, he’ll say it. And if he cares, he’ll show it. If he has a thought about you, it will come out of his mouth. If you are on his mind non-stop, he will do anything he can just to see you. If he truly likes you, he won’t let anything get in the way and fight back just to keep you in his arms. If not, he can’t be worth your time because you’re obviously not worth his.

I really want you to be here. I want your arms around me. I want to lace my fingers with yours. I want to brush your hair away from your face when it falls. I want to touch your cheek and feel your lips against mine. I’d really just love to be beside you. I wish you were here.

When you’re in love, you don’t aim for perfect. You don’t aim for the most good-looking, smartest person in the world. You aim for the person who can make you smile without trying. You aim for the person who makes you laugh and who makes you feel good about yourself. You don’t need to find a prince to find someone who’s charming.

Some time words of wisdom can tell everything that you are thinking and feel...

Lotsa LOVE,

When there is a sense of belonging.

Assalam. Aloha Everyone.

Wuu~ Its been a while since the last updates! Well, nothing to relates to the titles of this post with what Im going to say now. ahaks! Just getting some attention to the viewers. I must say thank you for the viewers outhere who is still willing to open this abandoned blog. hehe ^^

Anyhoos, there are tonnes that have been happening since the last post til now. Its just my times now is too tight to update things that happening around. Hmm.. as for now, I am too busy with assignments and test is just around the corner. And now, Im awake in the middle of the night, just finished my marketing coursework assignment. Well, its not fully done, there is a need to adjust a lil bit here and there. Overall, all the assignment can be considered DONE! haha :D In addition to that as well, I have just finished preparing what to read for my test this week. Another one, Management notes to be prepared for my test. After this im done. hm....so tired.. but luckily, this weekend my leave started for rasamas. Will not be working till end of december. and resume back to work on the 1st week of January.

I just can't wait for this to finish! and for sure im so much looking ahead on this coming december. So many things to do. And its a holy-holy-day!! Just keep on wondering, will i be able to get back to Indonesia this coming semester break?? I wish to go back to meet my grandpa and grandma back in Indonesia. Well, we have plan for it. It's just a matter of time and kachhiingg!! But if everything is going with the plan, we decided to go back a week in indonesia and 3 days in KK at my mum's adopted sister there. And continue to chill with my friends in Miri soon when Im back from KK. Ouhh, how i wish everything just moving with the plans.

Starting this december, on the 4th and 5th RBTS will be holding a family day event of Summer Camp at Pantai Berakas...But Im not sure its confirmed or not. I would like to go. But my EXAM will be around the corner at that date. hmm... I hope its not affected.

Wow! December I just can't wait to be with you!! hehe ^^, and for sure I just can't wait to have a holiday with P.A. If only we were married and go for a honeymoon.. haha :p nahh~ its a dream yet to come true! hehe :D

Orite guys! a lil updates here and there. Till we meet again in the next post!

Wish me all the best of luck for my upcoming test!!~ Love you guys! :)

Love

A day when result was out...

.....and it's finally out. I've managed to get 1B and 2 Fail. it is when we should expect the unexpected. And the time when P.A texted me that the result was out. My hand was shaking...and I just went on to my deskstop and without wasting my time I open my IVC and check my result. AND it turns out to be unexpected result. I was really hoping for my PQM to b at least C my POA to be F. But my POA turns out to be a hope that I used to have during my economics time where i hope for little luck in this subject and it was turn out to be out of the blue.. Anyhoos, tho I am a bit sad for the 2 subjects, I am happy for some reason. At least Ive got a 'B' for accounting.

More or less, morale of the story... Do not over expect a particular thing but do not least expect either. As you will in the end realised that if you put too much expectation on a particular matter in the end you suffer a loss! Cus I still remember when I am too much concentrated on my PoA even more than a week before the finals exam. Everyday accounting. At work I will ask Anoy my ex colleague about accounting and even at college I ask Alif for accounting. Not even that, I've attended extra-class with my lecturer just for the sake of PoA... i put too much effort in it! sigh oh well... what matters now I should balance it... its a lesson learnt. =)

And I would also like to congratulate to my lovely sweet duckling :) Congratulation on your outsatanding result. I pray for your success and may happiness shower your life more and more. Well, deep in my heart I wanted to beat and smack you down... But I am not sure if I ever could smack you cus I dont have the strength and I just cant do it cus I love you..hehe And well you are strong anyway. haha I know I am talking nonsense! But still it was balance! We still got 3 B's on the same subject... haha *rasa2han inda mau alah* hehe

Wow, life... life... life... I wish to have a healthy and wonderful life... I want to feel like this forever... I thank you all once again for the support given! I love you all deep from my heart and thanks for being part of my lovely beautiful life.

Today, tho I am a bit disappointed and down but people come and go to my office brings and left me with lots of laughter and smile... I laugh out loud with them today. simply loving my every moments... All in all, I am now getting my motivation back to do my assignments and school works done.. I believe that one happiness day of graduation will come to me.

I have sent my letter of advance leave to rasamas to apply for leave for the month of November and December. Alhamdulillah...I know now I have the chance to concentrate on doing my assignments.. ^^,

Orite guys.. a lil update from me. Till then...

ILY & IMY teddy's duckling! =')

Yours truly,

due date..

Wow!! Due date for 1st DRAFT Assignment is in 2 weeks time...And its gona be another 6000 words. A gentle reminder for P.A and A.P. due date is coming so soon... we have to do it!~~ Chaiyo-Chaiyo!! No wasting time.. ^_^

Love,