Thank You...

To those of you who have pushed me, thank you.

Without you I would have fallen.

To those of you who laughed at me, thank you.

Without you I wouldn’t have cried.

To those of you who just couldn’t love me, thank you.

Without you I wouldn’t have known real love.

To those of you who hurt my feelings, thank you.

Without you I wouldn’t have felt them.

To those of you who left me lonely, thank you.

Without you I wouldn’t have discovered myself.

But it is to those of you who thought I couldn’t do it;

It is you I thank the most,

Because without you I wouldn’t have tried.

Thank You.

Life is a high way.

"Life is a highway. We all start the same, and end up the same. It’s the journey that’s different."

Assalamualaikum.. Referring to the quoted text above. I ever think about what metaphors does it have in this quotes?

Life is a highway means you can choose which way you want to go. You have the wisdom to know right from wrong. Basically, you have the wisdom to choose. And afterall, I was given this path of life..and I choose to go with it.

Every people in this world are born the same, we are all equal. But as we grew up, being brought up by different family background.. To be think of, we are more fortunate than other people, to be specific the less fortunate people who do not have house to live in, food to eat etc.

My dad was a local famous writer named Adi Marhaen (it is name after my eldest brother). He was famous amongst the local writer. Everywhere you go, if you met a local literates, just ask them..do you know him? They'll sure does know. He is a Master in Malay Literature who wrote poems, short story, any other forms of literature in Brunei.

And direct to my point, we are well family (when dad is still alive). Its just that after he passed away, everything turns upside down. Because of wealth, my family break-up. My sisters and brother make their own way with my father's wealth. sigh. I hate this part where me and my lil brother lives in hardship (this was when I was still in high school) But now I am fortunate that I am now working. And life changes bit by bit with my current condition. If I were to tell you, when I was in Form 4, everyday.. day and night we only eat fried rice.. Because Mum was only selling food to mini mart and her revenue is very small. It brought me into tears if i remember this. I even went home by the public bus from Dewan Bahasa, just for the sake of studying everyday after school. Remembering the day, I feel pity to myself but Im proud of myself at the same time, that I have gone through this hardship as it slowly changing as i grew up.

Now, life is getting stable...and Alhamdulillah, with all my effort..I can help my mother and brother at the same time helping myself to improve my life more. I can now buy my own car with my own money, I can give mother to pay her expenses and my brother for his studies. I even can bring mom meet her family back in Jakarta after 10 years of not meeting them. Alhamdulillah..syukur kehadrat illahi...the barakkah of my rezki goes to all my surroundings. I can even give my rezki to my families in Jakarta and in KK. Not to be forgotten in Brunei, my friends and my colleagues.

All of these is from Allah swt. The hardship back then pays me off now. This is my motivation, I was born in a well family when I was still a kid, and as I grew up Life changes after my dad passed away but then it changes again after Im working. And Im glad, after I was being promoted by my company... I am able to give more rezki to my family. Talking of my company, today there's a news on the borneo bulletin about my lady boss. CONGRATS to her that she was nominated as "Bruneian ranked top 50 female leaders in Asia Pacific region." (CLICK ON THE LINK TO READ MORE) - Source Borneo Bulletin. I am so proud to be part of my esteemed company and specifically to be a secretary to my deputy chief executive. SHe's not only a good leader but also my inspiration. And a dreams every women wants to achieved. Success in career and success in life generally. This is what what we called Happiness.

Today, I have class,..ohh its been awhile that I dont updates on my college. We have pre-mid term test. And i feel it was amazing that I can answer all the questions fluently.. Alhamdulillah.. Well honestly, I did not study and do revision. But maybe because I attended every extra classes given by my lecturer and I did well with my homeworks that I can answer it fluently. Alhamdulillah Ya Allah... :) Fyi as well, I deactivate my facebook until....further notice. haha :p Its just that I dont want to be disturb by those unwanted status that can distract my mind from thinking back to the past, because i have to carry on moving..and I aimed high for my course this term. I dont want to be distracted. AND I DONT WANT TO BE DISTRACTED!!

Yupp!! That's it.. My exam fees is not that cheap that I am not taking it seriously. I have to work smart now.. Facebook wont bring me anywhere. But My study yess! My life, I have to rule myself not by other means.

Not only that..my motivation to save is also another thing. Next year insyallah, With Allah's will I'll be flying off to KL with my 9 classmates for a group vacation.. uuu yeah!!! We book our flight and we pay it already.. MAy everything will goes smoothly... Amiieenn InsyAllah...

This is it... this is what Im choosing! Choosing to be a secretary to my DCE, to be an International Diploma of Biz Admin student and a Waitress in Rasamas Restaurant. Please do not ask whether its tired or not. You know it cus you have the answer.

As i mentioned, this is my chosen path. Its my dream and its my inspiration... Life is a highway, remember?

Now,,,Now,,, Nadiah... You have to study smart and work hard. Play hard, Save smart.. haha :D Cheeritos Nandos... Loving ya.. See you around! :)

Selamat Hari Kemerdekaan NBD!!

SELAMAT HARI KEMERDEKAAN
NEGARAKU
BRUNEI DARUSSALAM
KE 27

Semoga akan bertambah permai dan terus menjadi sebuah negara yang maju..
Semoga akan tetap dilimpahi rahmat dari Allah swt.
Amiinn..

never say never.

Assalamualaikum...

I was motivated today by listening to this song. Tho I dont really into JB. But it gives positive feedback! Yeah...

Cheers,

Standing in her own shoes.

Assalamualaikum. Dear people,

This post may be the same with my previous post. "Being authentic". But its in a different theme.

Let me begin the awareness in my life journey as a start. Just this evening, my Chinese colleague again concern about me. Yes she is a very kind hearted and caring lady. She's like my soul sister. But we both have different point of views..

Just a simple matter arise, when she told me that she's currently busy with her audit work. And she tend to not so have time to chat with me in office. So, she knock my MSN in FB by asking how's my day and so forth. Then, she tend to express her feelings about being a mother to a 3 years old princess. She said that, now its been a month of sending her daughter to school, that she have to sleep early and wake up early in the morning just to prepare her daughter to school and as well as to cook for her.

I told her that, that is a usual thing a mother does. I told her that I've been in her shoes for 2 weeks when mom was away to Jakarta. That I have to be like a mother, well literally I am a mother for 2 weeks. I have to take care of him where I have to cook, doing all the house chores, take care of the car and every 'single' things. Besides my normal life of working and studying.

And she just commented that you guys are big enough to take care of yourself. Well, honestly saying, my brother is very dependent. Its hard for me to explain. In general, I did all. So, in just 2 weeks time i have learnt and feel how to be a mother. The tiredness is very... 'SUPER.' As a responsible sister, I have to take care of my brother well. The main important thing was his food. And I have to cook everyday(which indirectly enhances my cooking skills) hahaha :D

Not only that, there are several thing, i mean unwanted things happened at home where our pipe leaks. And I have no contact at all..Been asking for help from ustaz, but he's busy with his works. Been calling the plumber but no answer as it happened on sunday, shops closed at that time. I was like have no idea what to do. Not only that, on one fine morning...I was asking my brother to open the gas and ask him to boil water for morning b'fast but when I went to the kitchen to check, the gas was wrongly opened where there was fire on the pans instead of the water boiler. I was like terribly feared that it will turned bad. Especially to my house. But finally, i tried to relax and close the gas and try to put down the fire by using the handkerchief instead of pouring the water directly to the gas, I believe it wouldn't help. Ya Allah... I was like stunned with what had just happened. Allah still love us.. And when I asked my brother, he told me that he opened the gas for the water not the pan.. argghh.. I couldnt argue more, I dont wana fight w/him. So, I just keep it quite.

Its not easy living alone without my mother... I terribly scared after what had just happened. I just keep faith, keep on praying that everything will be in good and safe condition after mom return.

You cant say and judge me just by looking at me once. Look deeper and you'll know it. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikulnya... D Brunei ani, Ada keluarga macam nada keluarga... Kan minta tolong pun payah. People never understand me, Its not easy being half Bruneian and half Indonesian. People tend to hate mother more. They hate my hereditary. But they just dont know that my mother is not what they think all these while. Its totally the other way round.

Being honest with everyone in this world, my mother is very deep in her religion. Seorang yang tekun pada agamanya, tidak pernah meninggalkan solatnya. My father met her when my mom was working in Indonesia back 20 years then. My mom is not an amah, that a man could simply marry her just like that. Mom is an office worker in Indonesia, She was a secretary and a supervisor in a big book store in Indonesia. But people often misjudge her. And I dont understand and never want to understand jua why Bruneian is too choosy with Indonesian. I can say, Bruneian are very close minded! I dont mean all but for some yang nda pernah membuka hatinya untuk bisa menerima.

And that's why, I am here in this world to defend my mom!!!! Whoever in this world try to mess w/my mother. Mess with me FIRST! I used to hate my life, but this is what I have been given. I have to accept it with open heart. And I try to be deaf with all what people will say. I will prove to them that I can succeed tho I am half Indonesian. They doesn't know that Indonesian is not all a low class people. When you step your feet to JAKARTA, you will know there are lots of intellectual and rich people there. When I went back to JAKARTA last december, Its different than what Bruneian may perceive, you yourself will astonished if you see it w/your own eyes. Their houses(asset) is much bigger that the Bruneians. The word "WOW" will come out from your mouth, believe me..If disini, hanya kaya dtg dari hutang bukan dari saving. Rumah hutang, kereta hutang, kawin hutang, everything hutang. hmm

I have one Bruneian-Indonesian friend. He is a guy...degree graduated from German taking up politics. I used to express my feeling w/him about my life. And at that time I wasnt know that he is half Bru & Ind. Father, Indonesian and mom, Bruneian. After a while, he told me the truth. And it gives me the strength. Kita bukan kaum yang bisa dilemahkan..Kita juga boleh berjaya.. And Im glad to know him..Form there, I gain a courage. I dont make up a story and if you dont believe me, you cari namanya di M.O.E.

The first quote that applied to my life was "dont judge a book by its cover".

Maaf readers di luar sana, Please dont be offended with all my sayings.. I have the right to speak my own words. I am a human being like all of you guys. Ingat saja kita hidup di dunia hanya sementara, hanya akhirat yang kekal.. Oleh itu, kita harus sadar bahawa manusia di dunia ini sama rata, tiada yang lebih mahupun kurang, hanya saja kita diberikan kelebihan dan kekurangan. Segala kekurangan yang diberi itulah, Allah menyuruh kita berusaha merubahnya...

I am sorry to the very deep end of my heart, just to open your eyes, dunia ani bukan hanya ada Brunei.. Tapi bermacam2 negara... dan kita semua sama.......

Yang baik datang dari Allah, yang buruk sesungguhnya datang dari kita sendiri..

Bon Voyage Waraii....

AIKO SUSHI WITH THE LADIES
10TH FEBRUARY 2011



SENDING WAR AT BRUNEI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
14TH FEBRUARY 2011


I ve been knowing War since I was in Form 1, year 2001. Its a 10 years of friendship ties together... Also for the rest... Im so lucky and happy to be surrounded by beautiful and hilarious people...

Every year concurrently we had a once in a year gathering.. Pls note, "once in a year.." and that's always sushi.. hehehe Its been years of blossom friendship full of laughters and happiness. May all of us be happy together, forever....hugs.

With lotsa LOVE from BRUNEI To Aussie,

Cousin's Solemnisation & Nikah

"Barakallahu laka wa baraka ‘alaika wa jama’a bainakuma fi khairin"

Selamat Penganti Baru buat sepupu tersayang..
Semoga dimudahkan mendapat keluarga yang sakinnah, Mawaddah, Wa Rahmah...
Amiiinnn Ya Rabb...

Barakaullahu FiQ..

Iqlima Khoiriyah Rahmah
dengan
Banon Keke Irnowo

Majlis Pernikahan 6 Feb2 2011
(Pagi)























Majlis Persandingan
(Tghri)


















Smoga berbahagia hendakNya...

Being Authentic.

Dear Readers,

My awareness today was about Beauty. Im not sure what brought me into this topic. But anyway.. I was just keep on thinking about this matter since this morning. "Beauty" I often feel envy with every beautiful women. Since I was a kid, well ever since I step into secondary school. From then on, i know how to wear makeup..and every lil bit was taught by my environment. I did this because I want to look beautiful. Until one day that I have a prom night conducted by 6th form college. I was excitedly happy and joyous for the first time i was make up from a saloon. At that time, I doesn't know which saloon is the best.. well, the saloon that i went to was a cheap-cheap one. And the make up was err.. undescribable. aka terrible.. xp But anyhoos when i grew up, again i tend to go to much professional m.u.a. (Make up artist) at Essentual the mall. It is really my fav saloon. Went there twice, Jenny the M.U.A was really an expertise! It was really an astounding make up he did on me. It was when firstly done for my photoshoot at photo studio. Secondly was when I have an annual Toastmaster Dinner where I be an emcee of the night.

Well, beauty can be define in so many ways. There are some who are naturally beautiful without makeup. But some need makeup to be beautiful. Allah have created it fairly. They are beautiful so they dont need makeup. But not all girls have the beauty like any other gurls have, which make 'em need makeup to cheer their faces. So from my point of view, as a girl, I wanted everyone to know that as a women, a girl and a lady, we have to take care of our own beauty no matter what. As I grew older, as a secretary to the deputy chief executive, and literally as a lady I tend to think and realised that image is very important. And that's why it make me do so. Even working at Rasamas Restaurant my part time work, I am as a waitress and a cashier must take into account of my image. As I met customers. I have to maintain the image as a customer service.

This is therefore important for me to maintain my image. As i have mentioned earlier, some have their own natural beauty, like my colleague and my other girlfriends, not like me..I have to wear it every time because if not, my face will definitely be pale. Yeah, something that make me write this will probbably because of my Chinese colleague ivy, she always said to me that "why you have to wear makeup? You have your own beauty. So no need to wear... Later if your bf see you wear makeup, they will see you as a patung, not natural" and i replied her that I cant if w/o makeup i will be pale. Sometime i feel miserable. To wear or not to wear. And thats why I envy my girlfriend who have natural beauty.. I am so envy with them..

But to strengthen my perceptions. I will always try to be myself. Do you know that If we are married and have husband, we also need to take care of our image even at home. See how, important it is. I have heard and read so many complaint in a magazine that they feel bored with their wife because their wife do not maintain their image. See? Well what i meant is not only about make up but about their image at home. Not necessarily at home we dont have to be beautiful, but we Must!

Then again, it was about my friend who comment my other friend beautiful. Somehow I feel envy not jealous ok? envy.. :s But anyway, I used to think that she can be beautiful so do i and I even take so many steps to be like them. I used to be not authentic to myself. But this morning, I realised that I also do have my own. Why would I envy them much. Its ok, if nobody want to give me a compliment or even need to look at me for one or twice glance. I do not need that. I just need to be myself...be my authentic real self. I dont have the beauty like 'em. But I am an independent women. Not like the rest. I was given the power of independent by Allah to be a different women and a unique person. I believe in that. Some may have the physical beauty but there are also weaknesses. Well, Im seeking for the inner beauty instead.. Its ok I dont have the physical beauty like many others have. Allah is fair enough to give me good things. I dont need to be like them..

I am ME. I love myself... =)

Renungan renungkan lah...

Adakalanya kita perlu menangis agar kita tahu hidup ini bukan sekadar ketawa,
adakalanya kita perlu ketawa agar kita tahu mahalnya nilai airmata,
syukurlah kiranya ada yang menyakitimu,
kerana dia mengajarmu erti TABAH,
syukurlah kiranya ada yang tidak memperdulikan mu,
kerana dia mengajarmu BERDIKARI,
syukurlah jika ada yang menjatuhkanmu,
kerana dia menghebatkanmu untuk terus BANGUN LAGI,
syukurlah kiranya ada yang menyiksamu,
kerana dia mengajarmu erti KESABARAN & KETABAHAN.

Petikan kata-kata mutiara dari seorang sahabat dalam Facebook.

=')

Alhamdulillah.... I passed!

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah Hiwabarakatuh....

First thing that I can say is... YEAY!! ALHAMDULILLAH~~ I PASSED! And 3 subject to go... Ya Allah ya Rabbana.. Seseungguhnya aku bersyukur kepadamu.. Kerana engkau berikan aku kejayaan ini... Alhamdulillah...

I know the result was out Yesterday Friday 28th January 2011. But I didnt tell anyone. Cos i knew it from miss mahirah's status. Then I try to check my result myself from the IVC. But they block the result. So, i texted biah through MSN this morning. I asked her to text me once she checked the result for me.

So, when i was doing my work at RAsamas. Biah called me from college. She told me the result and it turn to be unexpected. Accounting C and Marketing B and only management i stuck it is RX. After biah told me that i was terribly happy.... soo happy! I just cant believe it.. ^.^ And i text miss mahirah directly to thankss her for teaching me marketing. And I dont regret coming to every of her extra classes! I still remember when I attend the last extra class before exam. its only 3 people out of 20 plus student turn out attending her extra class. Alhamdulillah. I managed again! Yeay.

So, only 3 more to go and to be achieved. Smoga segala perjalanan ku lancar semester terakhir.. Day by day when i look back my result.. I, myself dont believe its happening. I managed to get 4 B's and 1 C. Alhamdulillah..

Tahniah kepada yang pass... To myself.. masih ada 3 subject untuk didapatkan.. smoga segalanya lancar aminn amin ya Rabbalamin... ^.^

~This was me this morning~
hehe :D